I'm wondering if it's even possible to change on our own. We are always influenced by something or someone ('We' as human beings). It's impossible to change alone. There is always something that influences us. Is it a bad thing that I only change with the influence of somebody else? I think that as long as I keep myself in check and am aware of it then there is nothing wrong with it. At least I'm not lying to myself. There is so much that I want to do but I'm lacking desire or ambition and there is nothing here and I want to find it. I think I'm giong to go out today; I'm not sure where or why, but I'm not workig and I need out. I'm far too used to this house (or people in it really) and I can't wait to house sit in the U-district for three weeks. I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I'm never sure of anything and I can just do and stop thinking about everything. So I suppose today is the day to go out and figure some things out about myself and the people that influence me. Maybe not the people that influence me; I'm not a stalker... I hope.